Recently I have been reflecting about what it means to be good ally.
- How can I be the best ally possible to other marginalised groups?
- How can people be a good ally to me?
These are questions I think we should all ask ourselves, not just once, but regularly. Allyship is a journey that requires continuous effort and self-reflection.
As an EDI consultant, I often work with organisations and individuals to help them understand allyship and how to take meaningful action. It’s not always easy, and mistakes are inevitable, but the willingness to learn, listen, and adapt is what sets a true ally apart from a performative one.
For me, being a good ally is about listening, providing support, maintaining consistency, and leveraging your power and privilege for the benefit of others. It’s about recognising where you have influence and using it to amplify the voices of those who are marginalised. Allyship can start with one action, but it cannot be a one-off action. Otherwise, it risks becoming self-serving, something done to feel good about yourself rather than to serve the interests of others.
I found performative allyship to be the worst… I have seen this in action recently with Pride. Supporting LGBTQ+ colleagues by wearing a rainbow lanyard is a step, but to be a true ally, you need to walk the talk. This means supporting your colleagues’ rights or speaking up if you hear a homophobic joke, for example.
Performative allyship is not enough
One harmful behaviour I have encountered is performative allyship. This happens when people or organisations signal support for marginalised groups without following through with meaningful action. For example, I’ve seen this play out recently with Pride. While this can be a positive step, it often falls short if the intent is self-serving. For instance, wearing a lanyard to appear inclusive or to gain a better performance rating at work is not authentic allyship. This kind of performative action prioritises personal gain over the wellbeing and empowerment of LGBTQ+ colleagues. True allyship requires centring your efforts on uplifting and advocating for marginalised groups, not using symbolic gestures to benefit yourself.
To be a real ally, you need to walk the talk. This could mean:
- Speaking up when you hear a homophobic joke.
- Advocating for inclusive policies, such as ensuring equal benefits for same-sex partners.
- Educating yourself on LGBTQ+ issues rather than relying solely on marginalised colleagues to explain them to you.
These actions demonstrate a genuine commitment to inclusion and equality. Without them, symbolic gestures like rainbow lanyards risk becoming hollow.
How I support individuals and organisations as an EDI Consultant
As an EDI consultant, I provide tailored support to help individuals and teams become better allies. This includes:
- Facilitating workshops on allyship to help people understand what it means and how to take actionable steps.
- Offering guidance on how to leverage privilege responsibly to advocate for marginalised groups.
- Helping organisations build a culture where allyship is embedded into everyday behaviours – not just during annual awareness events like Pride or Black History Month.
Allyship is an essential component of creating truly inclusive workplaces. It’s not just about big, dramatic gestures; it’s about the small, consistent actions that build trust and demonstrate real solidarity.
